I can't believe that I'm one of them...

During Malay lessons,
teacher most of the time ask us to do some essay which is related to Family Institution,
or maybe Gangsterism and Vandalism.

All of them are related to families problems that cause these stuffs happening around..
I'm really very hard to believe that I'm one of them,
just because my parents are busy working outside...
They just simply took us for dinner and finish all our daily needs and just rush out the house and gone to somewhere for work.

I only started to realize this during this year,
even it had happened long time ago,
but I have no idea why I didn't realize it earlier...

I started to realize slowly that my parents are as same as what the essays said,
that the parents didn't spend more time with their children.

I was wondering,
maybe teacher asking us to do these related essays is to tell me to accept the reality of life, or even my family.

I felt even more lonely than before,
I kept listen to musics to prevent myself from thinking about the reality of my life.
It works sometimes,
that I got drunk in musics....

It's really sad and lonely to knew that...
What should I do??
or
What can I do??

I was planning to move out after I had enough money for renting or even buying house outside,
doesn't feel like staying here with them.

It makes me even more lonely and terrified of these thoughts happening around in my mind,
I started to hate money more than I expected,
even I have to save it for surviving in this world,
money took away lots of stuffs from me.

My happiness, my relatives, the truths...
But what can I do....
things had changed now,
I can't even rebel something about it..